This is how it's supposed to be.

Pick me.

2010-07-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

I wish I could just tell you straight out to pick me. That I want you to choose me over her. But who am I kidding? you're not going to do that.. or will you? You tell me you love me and that you are getting attached to me. These past 18 days have been great. It feels like old times again. Like how it felt when we first started going out.. I feel so happy with you. It feels so right to be in your arms again. It feels like you're mine.. even though I know you're not. Everyday you talk to me you talk to her also. I don't know what to do anymore. If I should even stick around. When I think of it, I feel like I'm just getting played. Like you don't even plan on picking me. You're just along for the ride. Whatever I don't know. I'm just going to get hurt. I need to accept the fact that when the 29th comes. I'm going to get my heart broken again. 11 days. At least I'll have the memories.. we'll just go back to the way things used to be.. you with her and me alone.

I cant take this anymore

2009-12-26T15:28:00.000-08:00

We say that we are trying to make things better. we are trying to work things out- but things just seem to be getting worse. we're not even together! yet we still fight like we are. you say that you should move on, but you love me so you can't. you love me so you stay and want to risk your heart to trust me again. you say i drive you crazy. But as long as you're with me, the crazier you will get. i cant handle the confusion. i can't handle being in the middle. it's either i'm with you or i'm not. It's like i'm stranded between two masses of land, stuck trying to survive the raging ocean. Almost drowning.

im sorry

2009-04-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the of the things that you did for me
Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Boy you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

Tried my best to keep it all together.
Tryna take it back to where we were.
Never been to good at keeping secrets,
Give you reasons but for what it's worth
Lemme go.
What the hell would make you look at me the same?
Used to say "We're unbrakeable."
But I just went & changed it all.

If I told you?
Could you live with that?
If I told you?
Could you live with that?
If I told you,
I couldn't live with that! I couldn't live with that!
No!
I'd rather give you no excuses at all.

You gave everything & honestly it's every fault of mine.
To beg you for forgiveness just seems wrong.
See, leaving you is one thing
But you've got to realize:
Some things are best unspoken
So please don't ask me why!

Oh, you don't want to know

i tell myself its for the best. i just hope im right.. if were meant to be together we will be in the future.

sigh

2009-04-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

why does my life always have to get all freaking complicated!

ajdlkahjdhfgakjsd

Standing behind him the stars shined even brighter.& for a moment all the world was still.

i knew we belonged together the moment our eyes met. i thought..

nothing lasts forever.

but maybe this one will...

boomboom

2009-03-30T15:18:00.001-07:00

life is pretty topsy-turvey. one day is crap the next day is good.

i went to parent-teacher conferences last thursday night(3/26) and my mom went to see my chem teacher.
he handed her a paper with all my grades. nd she saw that i got a 10 on my 2nd quiz OUT OF 100, i know its pretty bad.
she was maddd tight with me, so shes making me go to chem tutor at school, 1st period and i dont start till freaking 5! what am i guna do for 3 periods-_- pretty whack.

i have a bruise on the side of my jaww, i dont know from what tho, all i know is that its bruised, i think it was from gym, we play basketball nd i get kinda competitive, & im short & like the freaking tall people are always guarding me. so yeah anyways i think its from thatt. kiss it(:

saturday i went to dxc &met up with my friend from jersey. it was my first time going to a sneaker convention, it was interestinggg, verrryyy crowded tho, nd HOT. so many tall people nd smelly people. but it was fun, got to meet new people.

kay idk what to write sooo peaace(:

spring break count down: 9 days<3

whack

2009-03-18T15:50:00.001-07:00

so its my birthday and so far its been really whack.

fought with el boyfriend last night.. ugh. i just feel like crap today. dont want to do anything, just be home.

2009-02-27T14:58:00.000-08:00

weekend.

it's finally the weekend and i'm so happy. even thought i got so much homework to do. school is awfully stressing right now. i sometimes just want to drop out cause of the stress!

my global class is so bad, we drove our teacher crazyyyyy today. we was supposed to have a quiz, but she couldn't print it so she didnt give it. all we had to do was sit and pretend we was doing something, but we couldn't even do that. we were hellahh loud. she got so pissed. so she gave us an essay for the weekend. HELLA WHACK!

im going to pennsylvania for the weekend, my cousins came from texas(:

soo that means im going to church(:

uhms my outfit was cute today btw, not to be conceited or anything. ahah i wanna take a pic butt my hairs a mess right now so yeah.

kayyy idk what to write anymore sooo

PEACEEEEEEEE!

helloo

2009-02-21T20:00:00.000-08:00

so uhm yesterday,

i actually ended up going to the post valentines day party(:

i was so happy. i had fun even if i didnt get to stay the whole time, i left at like 11ish.

it was nice to see everyone &+ i got to wear a dress i only wore once xD.

theres pictures but they are on facebook.

omg tmrw is the last day of midwinter break and i didnt really do any homework, only my chemistry project;

HELLAAA GHEYYY

so like i think you should really help me with my homework;[

kay i should start since its already 11.

i might write tomorrow, kinda busy though.

out with boyfriend&then i got work-_-

till next time♥

crap

2009-02-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

so uhm i deleted this...

thinking, hmm i wanna change my url.

but then i just ended up using the same one cause i couldn't think of one.

ohwell.

so hi there.

omg the break is almost over. i don't want to go back to school. that's so gay.

anyways, today is my youth's "post valentines day party"

and once again i can't go. you know why? cause i have to go to gayyyy pennsylvania-_-

&my mother won't let me.

i'm pissed but its whatever i guess...

rather than being with my friends and having a good time, ima be in pennsylvania bored out of my mind.

kay i'm done.

bye